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It was just one of those times when my camera saved me…… I felt how he looked……. I stood on London bridge, tired, sad…..wishing I was somewhere else, when the sun broke through the clouds and lit the metal seal straight across the road.

I went to a forest at dawn, and this is what happened. All the pictures were taken with just me a tripod and a remote. It rained, I was freezing and exhausted…… I slipped over in the mud and was stung by nettles…. but, I felt wonderful. I laughed out loud running and jumping up and down like a lunatic, I let go, I felt free….. I did something for the sheer hell of it. I felt connected to this abandoned place, I found a dark beauty in it ……….. I left breathless and so alive.

Sometimes I take pictures and never really appreciate what I saw until I look back at them the next day. I’ve taken a few that have made me think about this recently, which have left me all the more grateful for having found this new passion in my life.

He held my hand, because I couldn’t balance…… the wind was too strong.

My shoes were wrong as always, the heels disappearing into the pebbles…. but that made me smile, its who I am.

I could barely see through my hair as it lashed at my face, my hands were numb, my eyes wet.

So I went to Paris……. I ruined my brand new shoes running over cobbled streets laughing. I walked in the rain, I danced on tables, I ate everything I don’t usually allow myself to. I got drunk and cried, I watched live jazz till 2am, I ate cheese at 5am with a dog called Muffin.

I’m not sure where this has come from, or why I chose to write it all down, but lately I have spent a lot of time walking instead of taking buses or the tube. I’ve had things on my mind, and I suppose its my way of facing all the emotions in my head. There are some days when I walk home through the streets feeling so detached from all that surrounds me I sometimes wonder if I could just dissolve.

‘Derelict Christmas I’

On Christmas Day I made a promise to myself…. to start writing down all the things I have been feeling, seeing, absorbing…… and been afraid of losing to a fading memory. I wanted to retain precious moments, and remember them as I truly experienced them… in detail.