‘The Last Dance of the Flowers’
‘The Last Dance Of The Flowers’
Sitting down to write this today is a completely different feeling compared to my last few entries, and to be honest it feels like a happy relief.
My head is full of laughter as I look back at this absolutely chaotic shoot; it was carnage from start to finish and we all worked so damn hard. For once there are no heavy emotions for me, no underlying sadness, I have loved every part of this pictures creation from concept to shooting and even the editing. It has felt like a page from my childhood slowly filling with colour, growing under my fingertips as the days have passed and I let go of it today with nothing but joy inside of me. It has become a huge favourite of mine and one I have every intention of having the full 2-meter print on the wall of my own home. Each time I look at it I long to be there again standing beside Katie in the warm shadows, remembering Elbie’s laughter echoing around us. The wonder of creating these scenes for real is that I will always be able to connect back to that day with all my senses because we were truly there and we created that moment together. I know how the earth smelt, I can remember my hands dirty and sticky with the sap from the flowers and the rush of adrenaline as we raced against the low sun to get the shot before it was too dark. All of it is so precious and has come to be the thing that makes me feel the most alive.
Close up view
a closer crop to show Katie’s almost black eyes. her irises were wide open due to the dark set, resulting in this slightly unnerving appearance which I love !
To return to the previous scene ‘The Stars Of Spring Will Carry You Home’ we watched as Katie said her silent goodbye, a last look back at us and all that Wonderland has been over the years. It was about her acknowledgement that nature has always been her guardian and a metaphor for my mother throughout. Her fusion with the flowers was to depict this acceptance and the trust she placed in the path she would be led along during her final days. Throughout the series I have always used trails in my work to demonstrate journey and movement through a static image, like the yellow leaves in The Journey Home or the powdered colour on snow in Spirited Away. Here I hoped to take that one step further by making the flowers physically lift Katie’s form, raising her up in a surge of colour that would carry her through the forest to the hidden place that has waited so patiently for her arrival. At night I dreamt of the flowers coming to life in this last maternal gesture of protection. Inside my own body I could feel my spirits rise with her, a sense of completion on the horizon for both of us as Katie’s journey parallels mine in the real world. I am so close now, just 2 pictures away from the end of the series. In the mornings I can feel a change in me, I walk to the studio in a different way, I look up again, I feel lighter, I breathe slower, I whisper to myself with each step ‘almost there……. almost there……. almost there’ ……
(original phone snap of me on location)
The whole concept for ‘The Last Dance of the Flowers’ started back in June 2013 with one little camera phone picture taken by my husband Matt. I had spent a week location scouting rhododendrons, the buds were on the trees and the woods would be in bloom any day. I needed a private place where we would be left alone and out of sight from the public in order to build our floral ‘wave’. I spent my time walking and taking pictures; I found some beautiful areas but nothing that felt dramatically different to the others already used in the series. It was only on the 4th day, one afternoon when I was standing in a path of bright light that Matt happened to take a snap of me on his phone. Later that night as I was complaining I felt disheartened and uninspired with my research Matt passed me the picture on his phone and suddenly everything changed. The irony of seeing myself standing with my back to the most amazing natural vignette of twisted storybook trees, completely unaware was almost laughable! I instantly knew that was the location, as well as the framing of the final scene all in one fair swoop. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind and I stayed completely faithful to the plan not even moving my camera position once on the day of the shoot.
The following morning I began work on the wig. I have never made anything like it before and still can’t quite believe it actually worked. It was incredibly difficult to wear and was a baptism of fire for Elbie trying to attach it to poor Katie’s head. We ran several trials of the wig in my studio and then just prayed it would survive on location. Due to the fact the final scenes were shot in reverse, the wig later went on to be covered in flowers, and we mastered wiring it to trees for support, but this was the first time Katie had to cope with its challenges and her only option was to balance it as best she could.
The day of the shoot was absolutely relentless, all Wonderland shoots are always exhausting, there has never been a ‘quick’ one and there is always the threat of the terrible English weather. I never sleep the night before and if you read this diary regularly you’ll also know I worry for days in advance. However, this shoot really was a whole new level of panic because it relied on cutting over 1000 fresh wild flowers and building a huge construction with them all on the same day as taking the picture! I’ll be blunt, I had no idea how long it would take, no idea if it would work, no idea what I was doing, or whether we would actually be able to collect enough flowers, but it was all so clear in my mind that we just threw ourselves into things regardless!
The day began early in the morning with just me, Elbie and Saskia. We went to the woods armed with bags, scissors, gardening gloves and old clothes, and cut flowers non-stop for 4 hours. It was exhausting and ridiculous, we quickly became filthy with mud and sap, our hands were cut to ribbons, arms scratched and worst of all we were attacked by mosquitos at every turn. We scrambled up trees and muddy banks, groaning, swearing, laughing, it was hard graft, but it is often this physical part to the photos that is something I really relish and love. The child in me delights in the dirt and the wind on my face, especially when there is the promise of something magical at the end of all. So we worked tirelessly, stashed our hoard in the shade of the trees and returned to the studio to collect the costume, equipment and Katie.
Building the floral ‘wave’ from fresh flowers
By 2pm we were back on site and work began on creating the floral ‘wave’. The location was set in the heart of the trees and the warmth and shade made a breeding ground for hungry mosquitos. I honestly cannot describe how many there were, but it was unbelievable. We coated ourselves in repellent but they just kept coming, which is why was well as our horrible old clothes; we also had to wear ridiculous hats to stop us from being bitten on the face and in our hair. I can’t stop laughing looking at the behind the scene pictures because I can remember so clearly the names we were calling each other, not to mention the hysterics we were in after seeing Katie in the full coat and wig for the first time. It was a moment of utter, utter delight, the wig was extraordinary and once it was balanced and Katie was able to walk around, my confidence returned and everything felt possible.
The finished result, I don’t think any of us imagined it would look so beautiful, it was such a wonderful sight!
It took a further 3.5 hours to build the set and eventually get Katie into position ready for the early evening light. Over the previous week I had returned to the site several times to check the position of the sun so we knew exactly when it would hit the set. By 6.30pm we were ready and I was shaking from adrenaline I was so tired and excited. We shot two types of picture, one with smoke and one without. I’m so sad to say Richard our film maker was unable to join us that day, so we attempted to shoot some video ourselves as a record, which was appalling quality and hugely underexposed. However, it is hysterically funny to watch, especially as you get to hear me barking orders like a mad woman at my poor husband Matt as he desperately runs all over the set with the smoke canons, much to the squeals of laughter from Elbie off camera.
It was carnage, there is no point in denying it, but my goodness I love the final image so much. It has to be one of the most unbelievable pictures in the series, the amount of flowers and the gravity defying hair, everyone’s reaction has been disbelief and that is something I will always relish and try to achieve in my work.
The smoke test shot (in the end we decided against the smoke, but I still love this little behind the scenes shot)