Sadly, my main reason for picking up a camera was to deal with the years before and after the loss of my mother. I never wish to dwell on this subject, but it is the truth no matter what else I say. Before I had the confidence to approach models, I had grown tired of the limitations of my street portraiture, and was faced with a year where my only real subject to experiment with was myself. Sometimes these pictures are difficult to look back on, as they were often taken at my lowest point. Even the ones that appear happy, or fantastical, were where I was simply willing life to be how it appeared within the frame, not how it truly was. Others were more raw, how I felt, angry, sad or broken. Dressing up and pretending things were different was good for me, but having to use myself was difficult as I have always struggled with my own body image. The set ‘Nocturne’ became a place for these images, I used to call them ‘My Darkest Dreaming’ as they were the escape I needed when I could no longer feel anything else. I took my last self-portrait in June 2009; to me it was significant because of the dead flowers around my neck, a metaphor that this stage in my life was over, and there was nothing left. I had felt criticised at times, and was nervous people thought I enjoyed using myself. However, I no longer have any regrets, and I now know that some of those pictures say more than any words I could express in my diary at that time. Most have very direct meanings, but as always it’s too much to write here. This collection is heavily reduced in number, as I have chosen not to include many of the more personal pieces. Nonetheless it will always remain an important part of my life that I am so glad I have recorded.