Thank you………

For the first time ever, I’m awake to see the sunrise as I fly home from another draining business trip to China. The first glimmers of the dawn are breaking across the horizon, as I stare out from the darkness of my blanket cocoon. I’ve realised its been so long since I wrote about how things are in my life apart from the shoots. I guess I’m more aware people are actually reading these entries now, and I’m no longer just talking to myself, which is sometimes daunting. I’m writing this in an old notebook, lying flat on my stomach in my private pod, nose pressed to the cold glass watching the changing sky morph and shift beneath me, the clouds are breaking, colours erupting, it’s so beautiful. I feel disconnected and lost, home sick and full of wonderlust all at once, I wish I had the right words…..

The reason I wanted to write, is that this week while I’ve been so far away, it’s begun to hit me how many people have found Wonderland and written about it. I’m completely overwhelmed at how many blogs and magazines have featured it. I have written 2 interviews for Spain, one for Brazil, and another for California. I have cried over emails from people telling me about their loss of a parent, or fears for sick friends and family. I never imagined anyone would feel so connected to the photos and understand what it was like for me when I took them. It’s overwhelming and so precious to me.

The sun is melting through the grey now, I can see the shadows of the fields, and the tangle of distant roads. I miss my mum, and without trying to sound cliched, up here I somehow feel closer to her. Does that sound strange? I hope she can see it all and somehow know how many people are reading about who she was and what she means to me.

I guess I’m just writing this as a constant stream of consciousness really…. The captain just announced it’s -5 degrees in London and snow is on the way. It’s my third Christmas without her. So much has happened, I’ve changed so much. I wonder if I will ever feel like I used to, I feel older, distant, it’s hard to explain.